Few women today can say this, I think, but I wouldn’t change a thing about the birth experience I had. To this day (now two years later), the birth with Tammi continues to be a source of life and empowerment for me. Not because I triumphed over it and performed some Herculean feat, which I didn’t, but because I was just my normal, human self and that was good enough. Tammi gave me two gifts: She didn’t interfere; I was able to do things in my own way. And, she supported me. I had never experienced that kind of support before: support without judgment, support that doesn’t criticize or show you a “better” way to do things, support that empowers you and draws out of you what you are capable of doing. Tammi’s presence was equally important for my husband. She provided a quiet confidence that allowed him to relax too.
It is so important for the experiences of our lives to be ours, not someone else’s. After the birth (after the initial hormones cycled out of me), I experienced a sustained “Post-Partum Elation,” a feeling of well-being and confidence that continues to give me strength and direction in my life.
If you think this testimonial talks too much about me and not enough about her, especially the discreet things she did at the birth, that is the point. She let me be myself and helped me bring out the best in myself. That says it all: the birth was about me and not her. Isn’t that what we all want? It’s pointless to list all the skills and talents and qualities that allow a midwife to be that kind of presence at a birth. They are too extensive and too nuanced for such a list. I can only say that Tammi has all of them—everything she needed to be exactly what I needed at my birth. I can’t begin to express how grateful I am that she came into my life to share this experience with me.